God: Peter, bring up the Lent reports from last year, how did it go?
Peter: Well, good. In 2003, sins were down 30% during lent, and the bad habits given up during that time helped strengthen our flock.
God: Good! It's working then. What's next on the docket?
Peter: Uh, I should mention one other thing.
God: What's that?
Peter: Well, also in 2003, sins were up 150% in the week coming up to Lent, and on Fat Tuesday sins were up 300%.
God: What?! Let me see that.
God: What is this Fat Tuesday?
Peter: It's the day before Ash Wednesday. Your people know they have 40 days of hardship coming up, so they live it up the day before - well actually most start the weekend before.
God: Well that's all wrong! When did this “Fat Tueday” thing start?
Peter: Actually the whole thing is called Mardi Gras. It's been going on for about 100 years now, maybe longer, our historians are still researching..
God: Well I want you to go down today and see what is going on.
Peter: Actually I already had plans to go. Strictly to observe, of course.
God: I see, well you should have been on this earlier - noone noticed this last year?
Peter: Well technically I was there last year as well, only in an observance capacity of course.
God: By yourself?
Peter: Well, I took a few angels, remember our Buddy System rule.
God: Who did you take?
Peter: Uh, technically it was more than one.
God: More than one?
Peter: We.. the angels.. we've been holding a raffle and 100 winners get to ride the bus down.
God: 100 Angels?!
Peter: It's a big part.. err affair sir, there's so much to se.. I mean there's alot of data to observe.
God: Uh, huh. And what's with the raffle? It almost sounds like this has been going on awhile.
Peter: (looking away) Heh - yes, one could infer that perhaps but..
God: Peter, how long have you been attending Marti Gras?
Peter: Promise you won't be mad?
God: I won't be mad, I promise.
Peter: (sheepishly) Since 1987.
God: What?!?!
Peter: Well, I didn't say anything because I didn't think I had enough data for a good report!
God: (growling). Fine, well how much more data do you think you need?
Peter: I.. I was kinda hoping I could go til 2007, that would make 20 years, a nice round number don't you think?
God: Yes, Peter, 20 is a nice round number. Ok fine, but I expect a plan of action to counter this.
Peter: Yes, sir. It will be difficult though. They, uh, our people have been doing this for quite some time.
God: I see that. (pause) What.. what is it they *do* down there?
Peter: Well, parades, bands in the street, parties, dancing, some girls even expose their, ahem, beauty in exchange for beads.
God: I see.
(pause)
God: Peter, any chance you'd have room for one more on your bus? I think I need to see this for myself.
Peter: Of course sir! Uh, well, it's suppossed to be assigned seating and we are full capacity. Would you mind sitting in the aisle?
God: (sigh) Well, I guess I should follow the example of Jesus and humbly take your offer to sit in the aisle.
Peter: Whew! What a relief - that will make things so much easier sir..
God: But I'm not Jesus - I'm God!! And no - I'm not taking a seat in the aisle!!
Peter: Uh, yes sir!! Of course sire!! I will... gladly give you my seat and I will sit in the aisle!
God: That's better.
Peter: (embarassed) Uh, you're welcome.
(pause)
God: So when we leavin'?